Each year on Christmas Eve, I usually have friends and family members over my house to play cards, drink wine and be merry. This year that tradition unfortunately came to a halt. I also did not attend Church for the first time in years on Christmas Eve.
The traditions that did continue though were being here with Mom and Len and enjoying movies. We kept it light and just watched animated movies all night. We started with Who Framed Roger Rabbit and then watched Ice Age I and II.
At midnight, which most of us barely got to, we usually open one gift. Since each year it seems like we get each other less and less due to the falling economy, we decided to open cards instead. Len's card for me was really funny. It had me in tears. Its one snowman saying to the other nice nipples (or something like that) and the other snowman says dude, they are just jelly beans. lol. I don't know why but all three of us were laughing hysterically.
Since I was a bit down in the dumps, I didn't get any funny cards for them this year, I decided to go with lovely sappy cards. Mom always enjoys a good card. I remember one year, I got her gifts and no flowers or cards and she was pissed! But I just spent so much money mom?! Nope, that's all she looks forward to. Can't blame her there's something so personal about a card.
I cheated and opened a gift, but it was from my roommate's mother. It came in this huge box and seriously, when I opened it it had all this stuffing in it that by the time I got to the present, I found myself looking at a huge flashlight. hahahah yeah, that's what I said too, A FLASHLIGHT? Seriously, what the heck was the joke? I didn't get it.
I'm up at 530am....it didn't help that I couldn't sleep. My sister -in-law texts me around midnight to say Merry Christmas and then leaves a text that in a nutshell said my brother was locked up again. This happens almost every important holiday. I don't understand why but my brother still hasn't come around to being smart. I blame it on his stupid friends that he hands with, but I dunno. To my knowledge he has been clean for a while now. However, he's been driving illegally to get to work (which he definitely needs to do). Mommy was unsure how much longer the black beast would last and with Mike Mike, my nephew driving, she bought a beater car for him that was in better shape than the other car. Needless to say, Mike was out somewhere, did something to get pulled over and then the genius and greedy person that he is led him to changing the tags although the newer car is not registered. Not sure of all the details but he got pulled over, they said he had two warrants for him (for not paying fines) and then he ended up in jail. This broke my heart. Just when you want to give someone the benefit of the doubt, something like this occurs. My mother and I were so upset that she went down in the chair to read and I just lay crying in the bed because well I can't walk anywhere so where else was I to go!
My sister in law then texted me at about 4am saying that he just walked through the door. Some things never change and therefore the tradition just continues...
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Dead man walking.
Its not everyday that you have a cadavers tendon assisting you in your own daily activities; ENTER Henry....Henry was an old man inserted as my new ACL back in 2006. I tore my ACL and part of my meniscus playing soccer. It was the hardest thing I had to endure prior to surgery #2. It took so much out of me emotionally, mentally, and definitely physically.
Oct. 23rd 2008, I decided to take my job of class moderator one step further in the spirit games. I wanted to pep my kids up a tad bit more and I knew if I did something crazy, they in suit would follow. I took a few of the cheerleaders and attempted to do a series of flips-only I did not make it very far. My sneaker stuck to the gym floor upon my landing and from there I found myself lay crying in front of 500 plus high school students holding HENRY-knowing that I had just done the one thing I never wanted to do EVER again-I re tore my ACL and meniscus.
Workers compensation paid for this round of surgery. I had originally scheduled surgery for the 16Th but whatever the reason it was changed to the 23rd. Despite all the anxiety I already had due to life's stresses, I was particularly freaked out by this date for a few reasons: 1. Who wants to be laid up on their Christmas vacation/holiday with her family? Its supposed to be a time of coming together and enjoying ones company, not waiting on someone hand and foot. 2. 12/23 was the date close to the date of the death of my former teammate and college friend Kathleen Walsh aka Walshie. Kathleen had one ACL surgery and succeeded then returned to the soccer field just to tear the other one and 3 days after her surgery she died of a blood clot in her leg. Freak accident that had me so absolutely upset. I broke down on the phone with my mother as well as one of my best friends, Nicolette the night before surgery. I've been on edge.
Surgery went well. Dr. Marcelli was my surgeon from before as well and he was assured that I did not have to worry about the incidents that Walshie went through. I have two things going for me: 1. I do not take birth control and 2. I do not smoke.
I came out of surgery and they told me that they were able to do everything in one sitting-originally they thought I'd have to come back in 6 weeks to do the ACL then, but this was not the case. They gave me a new cadaver, which I have yet to name. I will give TODDC the honors of naming this one. (when i first met him and told him how i named it-he told me that i named it the wrong name!) My pain in comparison to the pain on the first night of my surgery was much tolerable. However, today (day 2 of recovery) is more difficult. Its not as easy to get around and its so much more swollen than before. I really have a difficult time lifting my body weight. I am unsure if its because my left knee is no better (missing an ACL at the moment as well) or if its just because its the 2ND surgery and the damage to the knee is worse therefore healing is going to be tougher.
I was very nausea after surgery and I think it was because I was so anxious before and then the combination of percocets for pain and the anesthesia from surgery. I opted out of getting a block in my thigh which would numb this pain i feel now. I didn't want anything else done to me. I am very subconscious of what could happen and I did not want to have a higher risk of anything. Best bet was not to get it and tolerate the pain.
Thank God I have my mother here. She stayed at my house day 1 and with me at the hospital from 8am to 4pm. I think its hard for her to understand some of my pain at times because shes never been through it, but shes a mother and she's had her sources of pain in her lifetime I'm sure.
Its hard to deal with surgery. To an athlete, an injury is sort of like dealing with death. You go through these stages and it takes a while to accept things for the way they are or are going to be. I know that I need to work hard to get back to my physical capacity that I was before I had surgery but the long haul of recovery really comes from mentally preparing myself everyday. Right now I don't feel worthy of doing anything. I really am struggling with finding value in my life at the moment. Not just because of the surgery but because I'm still trying to figure what it is I want to do. I love my job, but I feel unhappy. Having the surgery only makes me feel less of myself because losing my athletic ability is like losing a entire part of me. I know it will be a short time before I get it back, but for the time being that's how I feel. Socially, this affects me because I become a burden to my friends-they take care of me, they drive me around. I don't ever want people to feel sorry for me and when you have a big heap of bandages and brace on your leg and are crawling around on crutches its only certain to happen.
I am thankful that everything went well. I just pray that recovery be as quick as it was last time. In no time, this dead man will be walking again!
Oct. 23rd 2008, I decided to take my job of class moderator one step further in the spirit games. I wanted to pep my kids up a tad bit more and I knew if I did something crazy, they in suit would follow. I took a few of the cheerleaders and attempted to do a series of flips-only I did not make it very far. My sneaker stuck to the gym floor upon my landing and from there I found myself lay crying in front of 500 plus high school students holding HENRY-knowing that I had just done the one thing I never wanted to do EVER again-I re tore my ACL and meniscus.
Workers compensation paid for this round of surgery. I had originally scheduled surgery for the 16Th but whatever the reason it was changed to the 23rd. Despite all the anxiety I already had due to life's stresses, I was particularly freaked out by this date for a few reasons: 1. Who wants to be laid up on their Christmas vacation/holiday with her family? Its supposed to be a time of coming together and enjoying ones company, not waiting on someone hand and foot. 2. 12/23 was the date close to the date of the death of my former teammate and college friend Kathleen Walsh aka Walshie. Kathleen had one ACL surgery and succeeded then returned to the soccer field just to tear the other one and 3 days after her surgery she died of a blood clot in her leg. Freak accident that had me so absolutely upset. I broke down on the phone with my mother as well as one of my best friends, Nicolette the night before surgery. I've been on edge.
Surgery went well. Dr. Marcelli was my surgeon from before as well and he was assured that I did not have to worry about the incidents that Walshie went through. I have two things going for me: 1. I do not take birth control and 2. I do not smoke.
I came out of surgery and they told me that they were able to do everything in one sitting-originally they thought I'd have to come back in 6 weeks to do the ACL then, but this was not the case. They gave me a new cadaver, which I have yet to name. I will give TODDC the honors of naming this one. (when i first met him and told him how i named it-he told me that i named it the wrong name!) My pain in comparison to the pain on the first night of my surgery was much tolerable. However, today (day 2 of recovery) is more difficult. Its not as easy to get around and its so much more swollen than before. I really have a difficult time lifting my body weight. I am unsure if its because my left knee is no better (missing an ACL at the moment as well) or if its just because its the 2ND surgery and the damage to the knee is worse therefore healing is going to be tougher.
I was very nausea after surgery and I think it was because I was so anxious before and then the combination of percocets for pain and the anesthesia from surgery. I opted out of getting a block in my thigh which would numb this pain i feel now. I didn't want anything else done to me. I am very subconscious of what could happen and I did not want to have a higher risk of anything. Best bet was not to get it and tolerate the pain.
Thank God I have my mother here. She stayed at my house day 1 and with me at the hospital from 8am to 4pm. I think its hard for her to understand some of my pain at times because shes never been through it, but shes a mother and she's had her sources of pain in her lifetime I'm sure.
Its hard to deal with surgery. To an athlete, an injury is sort of like dealing with death. You go through these stages and it takes a while to accept things for the way they are or are going to be. I know that I need to work hard to get back to my physical capacity that I was before I had surgery but the long haul of recovery really comes from mentally preparing myself everyday. Right now I don't feel worthy of doing anything. I really am struggling with finding value in my life at the moment. Not just because of the surgery but because I'm still trying to figure what it is I want to do. I love my job, but I feel unhappy. Having the surgery only makes me feel less of myself because losing my athletic ability is like losing a entire part of me. I know it will be a short time before I get it back, but for the time being that's how I feel. Socially, this affects me because I become a burden to my friends-they take care of me, they drive me around. I don't ever want people to feel sorry for me and when you have a big heap of bandages and brace on your leg and are crawling around on crutches its only certain to happen.
I am thankful that everything went well. I just pray that recovery be as quick as it was last time. In no time, this dead man will be walking again!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Braving the Storm!
I started my Christmas shopping and almost stuck to the budget yesterday. My mother and I started the shopping at 12. Intermission was at Olive Garden to grab soup and salad around 2pm. MY FAVE! In any case, 20 minutes later, we are laughing hysterically in the Macy's parking lot of the Cherry Hill mall. If you are crazy enough to be out the week before Christmas you're going to have to deal with a few things:
1. The obvious-other crazy shoppers!
2. The bad traffic
3. The fact that you can spend 20 minutes in a parking lot, stalk tons of people for a parking space and still not end up with one!
My mother and I had a few Mom to Daughter moments in the car as we were searching for our parking spot. Some woman was flossing her teeth and I made eye contact with her and I'm like omg shes flossing her teeth while she drives! This just made me laugh so hard when she read my lips and starting to laugh at the fact that I was laughing at her. I gave my mother road rage as I was yelling at other drivers for not obeying laws of the road (like stopping at stop signs and/or yielding the right of way. I knew we weren't the only ones frustrated because the guy looking for a spot as we were walking into the stores just started laughing at my mom and I as we walked in as we were laughing. Ahhh the holidays!
I finished shopping for Len, Todd, my 2 nephews, my roommate, my friend's son, Emily, half of my sister in law, & half of my mom. I think I made a good dent in the budget, but going over a little bit because of my brother and mom isn't a bad thing. I hope I can scrounge up some money to get my cousins something.
The second storm I had to brave was the fact that I knew I wasn't going to hear from Todd last night. His best friend's sister got married in Pittsburgh last night and I knew that he would be occupied and quite frankly I wanted him to spend QT with his best friend, whom he calls BUB, who has felt disconnected from Todd since Todd has been spending so much time with his munchkin-ME! I talked to him briefly throughout the day and once around 1230 when I called him against my will of trying not to. He told me he missed me, that it wasn't the same, that he felt lonely watching everyone with his/her significant others dancing; he also told me he cared a lot about me and I think he babbled something even more significant but I am going to pretend like I didn't hear correctly due to the fact that he was drinking.
It probably seems pathetic that I can't go one day without hearing from him, but its a comfort thing and most importantly, especially when he's out, I like to know he got home safe. I was promised a call the second night in a row when he got home, but nothing. Just like a winter storm, the hardening of ice hitting a window, I too felt the coldness.
1. The obvious-other crazy shoppers!
2. The bad traffic
3. The fact that you can spend 20 minutes in a parking lot, stalk tons of people for a parking space and still not end up with one!
My mother and I had a few Mom to Daughter moments in the car as we were searching for our parking spot. Some woman was flossing her teeth and I made eye contact with her and I'm like omg shes flossing her teeth while she drives! This just made me laugh so hard when she read my lips and starting to laugh at the fact that I was laughing at her. I gave my mother road rage as I was yelling at other drivers for not obeying laws of the road (like stopping at stop signs and/or yielding the right of way. I knew we weren't the only ones frustrated because the guy looking for a spot as we were walking into the stores just started laughing at my mom and I as we walked in as we were laughing. Ahhh the holidays!
I finished shopping for Len, Todd, my 2 nephews, my roommate, my friend's son, Emily, half of my sister in law, & half of my mom. I think I made a good dent in the budget, but going over a little bit because of my brother and mom isn't a bad thing. I hope I can scrounge up some money to get my cousins something.
The second storm I had to brave was the fact that I knew I wasn't going to hear from Todd last night. His best friend's sister got married in Pittsburgh last night and I knew that he would be occupied and quite frankly I wanted him to spend QT with his best friend, whom he calls BUB, who has felt disconnected from Todd since Todd has been spending so much time with his munchkin-ME! I talked to him briefly throughout the day and once around 1230 when I called him against my will of trying not to. He told me he missed me, that it wasn't the same, that he felt lonely watching everyone with his/her significant others dancing; he also told me he cared a lot about me and I think he babbled something even more significant but I am going to pretend like I didn't hear correctly due to the fact that he was drinking.
It probably seems pathetic that I can't go one day without hearing from him, but its a comfort thing and most importantly, especially when he's out, I like to know he got home safe. I was promised a call the second night in a row when he got home, but nothing. Just like a winter storm, the hardening of ice hitting a window, I too felt the coldness.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
A Tiffany Rhea Christmas Vacation
Move over Lampoon's, I'm coming through! Its technically the first day of my Christmas vacation. A lovely break from normalcy of working. I only worked a day and a half this week because I couldn't get out of bed. I literally had so much anxiety that I'd be up all night and then feel so nausea all morning. I probabloy could have toughed it out, but being that my surgery is scheduled for the Tuesday before Chirstmas, I need to be sure I'm healthy-in all areas.
I had a pretty easy day today at work-no kids other than the sophomores retreat where they learn about being chaste. I had no real responsibiities, just watched movies on a big screen and then went out with the teachers to the local pub for some food and good conversation. I couldn't drink because I was feeling slightly nausea. In any case, it was a good time. I left after 4 hours of it and picked up my soccer check FINALLLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With that comes Christmas shopping! YES! I know....I am so late, but money has been a huge struggle for me and I'm hoping this is the start of a turnaround. I really need to get another job, but finding one that works with my schedule at the current moment is tough. I pray that God just keep blessing me as I do His work.
I need to do all my shopping tomorrow becuase I'm taking Sunday to myself and just going out dancing. Even if i go by myself, I need to go! It's a way to get rid of stress for me and its good exercise, especially in heels!
I have great ideas of what to get ToddC and my Mom, but the rest of the family always seems so difficult to buy for-ask me why and I couldn't begin to tell you. The game plan is to complete the following tasks for a Tiffany Rhea Vacation...
1. Christmas Shopping
2. Bake cookies with Mamaray
3. Wrap presents & listen to cheesey Christmas music
4. Have a drink with my brother (sounds weird but legally both he and I have never been able to do that with one another)
5. Knee surgery :(
6. Create a biology unit plan since this will be my first time EVER teaching it! I am so apprehensive about this too!
7. Celebrate the new year with my lovie...I cannot wait to have someone to kiss when the new year rings in!
8. Play board games with my family!
9. Physical Therapy
Doesn't seem like its that exciting does it? Exactly. Hope your vacation is way better than mine!
I had a pretty easy day today at work-no kids other than the sophomores retreat where they learn about being chaste. I had no real responsibiities, just watched movies on a big screen and then went out with the teachers to the local pub for some food and good conversation. I couldn't drink because I was feeling slightly nausea. In any case, it was a good time. I left after 4 hours of it and picked up my soccer check FINALLLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With that comes Christmas shopping! YES! I know....I am so late, but money has been a huge struggle for me and I'm hoping this is the start of a turnaround. I really need to get another job, but finding one that works with my schedule at the current moment is tough. I pray that God just keep blessing me as I do His work.
I need to do all my shopping tomorrow becuase I'm taking Sunday to myself and just going out dancing. Even if i go by myself, I need to go! It's a way to get rid of stress for me and its good exercise, especially in heels!
I have great ideas of what to get ToddC and my Mom, but the rest of the family always seems so difficult to buy for-ask me why and I couldn't begin to tell you. The game plan is to complete the following tasks for a Tiffany Rhea Vacation...
1. Christmas Shopping
2. Bake cookies with Mamaray
3. Wrap presents & listen to cheesey Christmas music
4. Have a drink with my brother (sounds weird but legally both he and I have never been able to do that with one another)
5. Knee surgery :(
6. Create a biology unit plan since this will be my first time EVER teaching it! I am so apprehensive about this too!
7. Celebrate the new year with my lovie...I cannot wait to have someone to kiss when the new year rings in!
8. Play board games with my family!
9. Physical Therapy
Doesn't seem like its that exciting does it? Exactly. Hope your vacation is way better than mine!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I can cry if I want to...
Girls are emotional. I am a girl. Therefore, I am emotional. My first emotion is and has always been to release tears. Crying to me, does the same for me as going to the gym at particular times of the month. No, I am not speaking of only the PMS stages a woman goes through, but rather those days where she doesn't feel good about herself, or has had a bad day.
After a very relaxing weekend with Todd, I found myself crying over his departure back to Pittsburgh. I know that he has to go back to work, but I guess I just really feel comfortable with him around. I know I definitely wanted him by my side when I go in for surgery next week. I also wanted for him to join us in our family's Christmas breakfast, but hey, I know its early and that could be asking for too much. He is going to Pitt to work but also to be with his family over the holiday. When he left I literally broke down. Tears just flowed from my eyes-tears I didn't expect, and tears I didn't really want him to see.
I've spent a long time dealing with anxiety and depression and I thought I was back to normal until recently. I find my patterns of exercise are changing, my eating habits and most importantly, my sleeping habits have changed for the worse. I've stayed home for 3 days straight from work. I don't feel well; I feel nauseated, achy, and I have an intense soreness on my right side of my face from my jaw to my ear. I mostly just feel like I am walking on eggshells and that if I were to be around people at this minute I would collapse into a ball of emotions.
I wish someone had the answers for me....I know its okay to cry, but I really don't want to!
There's alot happening around this time other than me being with Todd; there's Christmas approaching; financial struggles; stress from work; the absence of true friends; and the thought of knee surgery and loss of my friend Kat during this time. I just pray that the Lord help me in this situation. I think He's the only One that can.
After a very relaxing weekend with Todd, I found myself crying over his departure back to Pittsburgh. I know that he has to go back to work, but I guess I just really feel comfortable with him around. I know I definitely wanted him by my side when I go in for surgery next week. I also wanted for him to join us in our family's Christmas breakfast, but hey, I know its early and that could be asking for too much. He is going to Pitt to work but also to be with his family over the holiday. When he left I literally broke down. Tears just flowed from my eyes-tears I didn't expect, and tears I didn't really want him to see.
I've spent a long time dealing with anxiety and depression and I thought I was back to normal until recently. I find my patterns of exercise are changing, my eating habits and most importantly, my sleeping habits have changed for the worse. I've stayed home for 3 days straight from work. I don't feel well; I feel nauseated, achy, and I have an intense soreness on my right side of my face from my jaw to my ear. I mostly just feel like I am walking on eggshells and that if I were to be around people at this minute I would collapse into a ball of emotions.
I wish someone had the answers for me....I know its okay to cry, but I really don't want to!
There's alot happening around this time other than me being with Todd; there's Christmas approaching; financial struggles; stress from work; the absence of true friends; and the thought of knee surgery and loss of my friend Kat during this time. I just pray that the Lord help me in this situation. I think He's the only One that can.
Sunday Dinners...
The value of family has diminished due to technological advances such as IPOD's, MP3 players, Xbox, Playstations, Wii's...etc....The internet has also been a huge deterrence from family life. Back in the day, you heard people speaking of Sunday dinners, where family members sat around the table laughing and talking about the weeks events that lay ahead. Where did that go? Why isn't it still apart of our society's strength?
I have to admit that my family never was that type of family due in part to my family being very small, mom working so much when us kids were younger, and money being tight while growing up. My family is hilarious and I wish there were a few people who have passed to continue the spirit of laughter within family dinners. My Aunt Margaret and my dear Grammy were two people who loved to play games. My Auntie Mae was a quiet striker-she would sick back make you think she really wasn't into the game and then hit you with element of surprise-WINNING.
My Grammy was a jokester-a complete cheater in every game and a great partner to have on your team for those two reasons! I now know where my brother and I get our competitive spirits from. This past Sunday, Todd and I went to my cousins house where Brian and Todd were able to watch the Steelers play! It was great to see my cousins again. That was 3 times in one month! Holy crap! Fernando and I just laughed everytime the Steelers made a good play when we watched ToddC and Brian slap hands. Missy and I just enjoyed the Taco Dip I made, and Emily and I spent some time on the computer...she's so darn smart.
From Missy's house, ToddC and I went to my Mama's house to have dinner with my Mom, Len, and my brother's family. How nice was that? Mom made Lasagna and meatballs, garlic bread, and salad. Todd loved it! The family really seems to like him, which is a plus for me as well!
After dinner, I expected everyone to sit around and then go home but surprisingly, they wanted to play pictionary! I teamed up with my eldest nephew and Todd vs. My mom, brother and youngest nephew. My team not only won but kicked my brother's teams' butt. It was really funny because my brother was basically blowing a gasket he was so mad! Todd and my nephew and I really were good at this game! Everyone played in a game of crazy 8's after pictionary and that too was so much fun! The crap talking, the laughter...the spirit of Sunday dinners was back...and it felt great!
I have to admit that my family never was that type of family due in part to my family being very small, mom working so much when us kids were younger, and money being tight while growing up. My family is hilarious and I wish there were a few people who have passed to continue the spirit of laughter within family dinners. My Aunt Margaret and my dear Grammy were two people who loved to play games. My Auntie Mae was a quiet striker-she would sick back make you think she really wasn't into the game and then hit you with element of surprise-WINNING.
My Grammy was a jokester-a complete cheater in every game and a great partner to have on your team for those two reasons! I now know where my brother and I get our competitive spirits from. This past Sunday, Todd and I went to my cousins house where Brian and Todd were able to watch the Steelers play! It was great to see my cousins again. That was 3 times in one month! Holy crap! Fernando and I just laughed everytime the Steelers made a good play when we watched ToddC and Brian slap hands. Missy and I just enjoyed the Taco Dip I made, and Emily and I spent some time on the computer...she's so darn smart.
From Missy's house, ToddC and I went to my Mama's house to have dinner with my Mom, Len, and my brother's family. How nice was that? Mom made Lasagna and meatballs, garlic bread, and salad. Todd loved it! The family really seems to like him, which is a plus for me as well!
After dinner, I expected everyone to sit around and then go home but surprisingly, they wanted to play pictionary! I teamed up with my eldest nephew and Todd vs. My mom, brother and youngest nephew. My team not only won but kicked my brother's teams' butt. It was really funny because my brother was basically blowing a gasket he was so mad! Todd and my nephew and I really were good at this game! Everyone played in a game of crazy 8's after pictionary and that too was so much fun! The crap talking, the laughter...the spirit of Sunday dinners was back...and it felt great!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Rocking Around the Christmas Party!
Last night marked the annual Christmas Party for faculty members and staff for Holy Cross. I wasn't too sure about how it would turn out and I was bummed that Mr. Harper couldn't join us this year, but no matter what I was excited for one good reason: Todd came home and joined me in a night of fun!
I don't know how he had the energy to be himself last night after working 14 hours and driving 5.5 hours. I'm thankful that he did because I had the BEST TIME I've ever had at any event.
I was excited for my dress that my mother helped me pick out the other night and Todd looked ravishing in his pin striped suit and James Bond like button down shirt. All the female teachers told me how attractive he was and everyone commmented on his personality, which I knew would impress so many people! We drank, we were merry, and we definitely cut a big rug. In fact, I think there's scorch marks on our shoes because our feet were on fire!
The food was okay. The capon seemed to be more pleasing then the filet for most, but really, what do you expect, its catered food!
I don't know if its because I am not longer a rookie on the scene or maybe because this year I was there with somebody who I thouroughly enjoyed the company of, but this year was way more fun than last years event. The teachers seemed more social, upbeat, and there were more bodies on the dance floor! Whatever the case, I had a great time and I'm glad that Todd was there to share that night with me! That could possibly be the last time I could dance all dressed up before my knee surgery. Yikes!
I don't know how he had the energy to be himself last night after working 14 hours and driving 5.5 hours. I'm thankful that he did because I had the BEST TIME I've ever had at any event.
I was excited for my dress that my mother helped me pick out the other night and Todd looked ravishing in his pin striped suit and James Bond like button down shirt. All the female teachers told me how attractive he was and everyone commmented on his personality, which I knew would impress so many people! We drank, we were merry, and we definitely cut a big rug. In fact, I think there's scorch marks on our shoes because our feet were on fire!
The food was okay. The capon seemed to be more pleasing then the filet for most, but really, what do you expect, its catered food!
I don't know if its because I am not longer a rookie on the scene or maybe because this year I was there with somebody who I thouroughly enjoyed the company of, but this year was way more fun than last years event. The teachers seemed more social, upbeat, and there were more bodies on the dance floor! Whatever the case, I had a great time and I'm glad that Todd was there to share that night with me! That could possibly be the last time I could dance all dressed up before my knee surgery. Yikes!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
International Hug a Red Head Day!
Approximately 2% of the world is a natural redhead, and 10% carry the gene for red hair. Now's our time to appreciate these rare natural wonders! National Geographic says Redheads set for extinctionGenetic scientists warn that redheads are a dying breed; soon they will become extinct in the next 100 years. National Geographic magazine reports that less than two per cent of the world’s population has the natural red hair.
There are many famous redheads in history, such as the bard William Shakespeare, Christopher Columbus and the Queen Elizabeth, and the more recent ones Peter Beattie, Nicole Kidman, Prince Harry and Michael Voss, hell even Malcolm X was a redhead! But the future doesn’t look bright for the redheads according to the National Geographic article.
Red hair was created by a genetic mutation in northern Europe some thousands of years ago. The article reports that the gene had the beneficial effect of increasing the body’s ability to cope with sunlight; it helped make vitamin D from Sunlight. But now because of world wide interactions, the today’s carriers are more prone to skin cancer and are more sensitive to heat and cold related pain. Because of smaller percentage of redheads present in the population, it has reduced the chances considerably for the redheads to get redhead partner, so their offspring may or may not be a redhead. The redhead can produce a baby from a single redhead parent; the chances become high when both the parents are redhead however. Some experts warn redheads could be gone as early 2060, but others say the gene can be dormant in the reproductive system for generations before returning. (My family usually lives until 70, but if I surpass that-by 2060 I will be 78 years old!) It is too early to predict redhead extinction, more research and analysis needs to be done if that is the case.
Although its been years since my natural locks gleamed that sultry red that Mom always said, "You can't buy that color in a bottle" about, I find it amusing that we now have a day for Gingers.
I find it twice as amusing that the kids these days have the same nicknames for red headed children (and more) than in the past. Being a red head as a child was disastrous for my self-esteem. Being called fire crotch on a daily basis was only funny the first three times. Why that hurt so badly back then I cannot remember; but even now, I hate when people refer to me as the big FC. Maybe the name just hits a nerve from my childhood. I don't see why people want to make fun of us rare creatures. Don't they know redheads are one of the most passionate types of people on Earth?
Currently my hair is brown but the natural red is peeking through. No one ever believes me when I say that I am naturally a red head. The more and more I dye my hair the more I think to myself, damn, I wish I was my natural red. What pisses me off more than anything is that this IHRHD was today and I didn't get any hugs damnit!
There are many famous redheads in history, such as the bard William Shakespeare, Christopher Columbus and the Queen Elizabeth, and the more recent ones Peter Beattie, Nicole Kidman, Prince Harry and Michael Voss, hell even Malcolm X was a redhead! But the future doesn’t look bright for the redheads according to the National Geographic article.
Red hair was created by a genetic mutation in northern Europe some thousands of years ago. The article reports that the gene had the beneficial effect of increasing the body’s ability to cope with sunlight; it helped make vitamin D from Sunlight. But now because of world wide interactions, the today’s carriers are more prone to skin cancer and are more sensitive to heat and cold related pain. Because of smaller percentage of redheads present in the population, it has reduced the chances considerably for the redheads to get redhead partner, so their offspring may or may not be a redhead. The redhead can produce a baby from a single redhead parent; the chances become high when both the parents are redhead however. Some experts warn redheads could be gone as early 2060, but others say the gene can be dormant in the reproductive system for generations before returning. (My family usually lives until 70, but if I surpass that-by 2060 I will be 78 years old!) It is too early to predict redhead extinction, more research and analysis needs to be done if that is the case.
Although its been years since my natural locks gleamed that sultry red that Mom always said, "You can't buy that color in a bottle" about, I find it amusing that we now have a day for Gingers.
I find it twice as amusing that the kids these days have the same nicknames for red headed children (and more) than in the past. Being a red head as a child was disastrous for my self-esteem. Being called fire crotch on a daily basis was only funny the first three times. Why that hurt so badly back then I cannot remember; but even now, I hate when people refer to me as the big FC. Maybe the name just hits a nerve from my childhood. I don't see why people want to make fun of us rare creatures. Don't they know redheads are one of the most passionate types of people on Earth?
Currently my hair is brown but the natural red is peeking through. No one ever believes me when I say that I am naturally a red head. The more and more I dye my hair the more I think to myself, damn, I wish I was my natural red. What pisses me off more than anything is that this IHRHD was today and I didn't get any hugs damnit!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The aggrevation of separation!
When you want something so badly and you wait your entire life for it to fall at your feet and it finally does and goes away for two weeks where does that leave you? Aggrevated. There's so many times that I want to call up Todd and talk to him while he is away. I know he's working, but I'm use to spending almost every night or day after work with him. He is my drug. He makes me feel better than any anti-anxiety medicine I've ever had. His remedy...laughter.
I don't know how he does it or why it was him chosen to do such, but the man is good. I jokingly told him the other day after seeing a Tim McGraw commercial for cologne; "Todd, yous a bad boy....but yous a great man!" I would never say that I am dependent on anything. Not drugs and definitely not people, however, I'm beginning to think that I need someone to keep me happy, that I depend on others to create that happiness within myself. Other than my mother, there has never been that one rock, that one solid person that I could go to and not have to worry about anything. None of my female friends have ever solidified themselves as wanting that role. My mother makes me happy but drives me crazy at times because of how similar we are. I've been counting down for almost two full weeks the moment that Todd will arrive at my door, sweep me off my feet and give me spinning circle hugs. It's to a point now that I'm missing him so badly that on the phone, when our conversation is short, I get aggrevated and frustrated that he is not here. Moral of the story is...either I am crazy or perhaps I'm having separation anxiety! Either way, its probably both.
I don't know how he does it or why it was him chosen to do such, but the man is good. I jokingly told him the other day after seeing a Tim McGraw commercial for cologne; "Todd, yous a bad boy....but yous a great man!" I would never say that I am dependent on anything. Not drugs and definitely not people, however, I'm beginning to think that I need someone to keep me happy, that I depend on others to create that happiness within myself. Other than my mother, there has never been that one rock, that one solid person that I could go to and not have to worry about anything. None of my female friends have ever solidified themselves as wanting that role. My mother makes me happy but drives me crazy at times because of how similar we are. I've been counting down for almost two full weeks the moment that Todd will arrive at my door, sweep me off my feet and give me spinning circle hugs. It's to a point now that I'm missing him so badly that on the phone, when our conversation is short, I get aggrevated and frustrated that he is not here. Moral of the story is...either I am crazy or perhaps I'm having separation anxiety! Either way, its probably both.
Double the winning; Double the FUN!
Everyone that knows me would definitely describe me as being a competitive person. I would agree. When they told me they needed a bowling coach, I was aprehensive; let's face it, today parents make it quite difficult for coaches to do their jobs. Though, I thought about the offer and because money wasn't something to pass by (a measely 1200 in catholic school to be a coach) I said "SURE, no problem." And just like that, I've entered my second season as a bowling coach. Ah man it just rolls off the tongue....what do you do in the winter? "coach" Oh yeah? What sport? "BOWLING!" (enter laughter here)
The only things I could remember about bowling while growing up were:
1. Mom bowled in a league either on Thursdays or Fridays which meant I had to eat fish sticks and french fries. (ps-mom was pretty good)
2. My brother yelling at me when we went bowling as a family because I never bowled a straight ball. It was always to the left or to the right....(My brother was pretty good also)
3. The famous lessons of thumbs up, arm to the sky!
WHAT WAS I THINKING TAKING THIS BOWLING GIG? Let me set the table for you: I teach at a Catholic HS in Delran, NJ where 90% (no exaggeration) of the student population are athletes. Last time I looked up the word athlete I did not see a brawny bowler by its definition. It was a complete joke the first season that I coached. We loss every game nearly by double the pin fall of what we would bowl; the kids didn't know what mark meant; it was quite embarassing. I had to kick a girl off the team (its bowling, thats rediculous!) Being so competitive in any losing season is not a good combo. I wanted to win more than the kids did I think!
The good thing about coaching bowling is that you get to be around kids that aren't so....well....hmmmm....let's just say the kids are different. I normally wouldn't talk to these types of kids becuase most of them are probably intimidated from me or not in my classes.
We ended last year's record by increase the wins from the previous season. Our record in 2008 was 2-a whole bunch of losses-1.
Have to tell ya, after a losing soccer season at Northern Burlington, I was relieved that bowling was here. Our numbers are up from last year and we don't have a bad lineup. I recruited a few softball players and a few others and now we are very competitive. Today we bowled in our 5th match and doubled our wins from last year already! The girls are bowling very well! We've won most of our matches 4-0; We've increased our game high to over 700 pins; increased our total pins to over 2000 pins; and we have several girls that have bowled 200 hundred games. It's fun when we win! Even more so, the girls are having a blast being competitive! So long as we continue to improve than my 1200 dollars is well worth the time! I'm so proud to be the Lady Lancers bowling coach!
The only things I could remember about bowling while growing up were:
1. Mom bowled in a league either on Thursdays or Fridays which meant I had to eat fish sticks and french fries. (ps-mom was pretty good)
2. My brother yelling at me when we went bowling as a family because I never bowled a straight ball. It was always to the left or to the right....(My brother was pretty good also)
3. The famous lessons of thumbs up, arm to the sky!
WHAT WAS I THINKING TAKING THIS BOWLING GIG? Let me set the table for you: I teach at a Catholic HS in Delran, NJ where 90% (no exaggeration) of the student population are athletes. Last time I looked up the word athlete I did not see a brawny bowler by its definition. It was a complete joke the first season that I coached. We loss every game nearly by double the pin fall of what we would bowl; the kids didn't know what mark meant; it was quite embarassing. I had to kick a girl off the team (its bowling, thats rediculous!) Being so competitive in any losing season is not a good combo. I wanted to win more than the kids did I think!
The good thing about coaching bowling is that you get to be around kids that aren't so....well....hmmmm....let's just say the kids are different. I normally wouldn't talk to these types of kids becuase most of them are probably intimidated from me or not in my classes.
We ended last year's record by increase the wins from the previous season. Our record in 2008 was 2-a whole bunch of losses-1.
Have to tell ya, after a losing soccer season at Northern Burlington, I was relieved that bowling was here. Our numbers are up from last year and we don't have a bad lineup. I recruited a few softball players and a few others and now we are very competitive. Today we bowled in our 5th match and doubled our wins from last year already! The girls are bowling very well! We've won most of our matches 4-0; We've increased our game high to over 700 pins; increased our total pins to over 2000 pins; and we have several girls that have bowled 200 hundred games. It's fun when we win! Even more so, the girls are having a blast being competitive! So long as we continue to improve than my 1200 dollars is well worth the time! I'm so proud to be the Lady Lancers bowling coach!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Financially SPENT!
Its that time of the month again where I sit down and contemplate my expenses and think of means to compensate for the lack of money I am not earning. I know that I am good with money. I don't go on excessive shopping sprees that often (perhaps twice a year). I don't go out and spend spend spend like a lot of women my age do. I am conservative on the fact that something is bound to arise unexpectedly and I must be prepared for such events. I set up a budget usually at the beginning of a school year and I stick to it. Due to our falling economy, I too am struggling to keep food in the refrigerator. I had to do something I absolutely HATE to do...borrow money from my mother. If it wasn't for her, I probably would have sold my house already. Yet, still, with her help, I am close to that option. I'm really banking on the fact that this entire Todd thing works out to a point that I have never gone before...moving in together. I know its too early to speak of such nonsense but my roommate moves out in February (thank you Lord!) and perhaps that is the perfect opportunity. A dual income in a household probably isn't the answer. I know I need to change from private school to public. Theres just a few things in the way of that. 1. Location...this area is filled with young teachers; it had a turnover a few years ago when I first graduated from college. 2. My charge from New Orleans. Ofcourse, that costs money to fix, and I can't afford to make the trip nor the payment for expungement. 3. I own my condo and the market sucks to sell right now...I'm better off trying to rent out my place, but then that leads to #4. Where do I go from there?
Being financially unsure of myself creates so much anxiety. In fact, it all started back in 2007 when the public school I was working in decided to allow an anonymous letter from a parent dictate the decision of keeping me in the school district. I literally have fallen apart. I am not myself, and more than everything else, I have a tremendous amount of anxiety that I can't seem to get rid of and in times like these, it worsens. I know I'm not the only one that is struggling to make ends meet. In fact, I know that my own family has never been completely comfortable in their financial situation. It's just something we've never had. My question is....how do you fix it?
Being financially unsure of myself creates so much anxiety. In fact, it all started back in 2007 when the public school I was working in decided to allow an anonymous letter from a parent dictate the decision of keeping me in the school district. I literally have fallen apart. I am not myself, and more than everything else, I have a tremendous amount of anxiety that I can't seem to get rid of and in times like these, it worsens. I know I'm not the only one that is struggling to make ends meet. In fact, I know that my own family has never been completely comfortable in their financial situation. It's just something we've never had. My question is....how do you fix it?
Sunday, December 7, 2008
It's all in the STARS!
I'm not a huge believer in astrology and personally I find it quite confusing; however, last night out of boredom and after speaking to Todd I had the urge to see what the Stars say about the compatibility of our signs. Todd, a Scorpio and myself a Taurus are quite the opposites in signs, though if it makes any sense at all, we have the most in common of all the opposites. I read on and it said very general things about the two of our signs which I believe is pretty typical to read. After reading down the page, I came to something totally freaky! When speaking about love, it said that someone new would come into my life in Sept. (and he did, I worked with him and it was best for both of us to not pursue anything). However, it also said that the real meaning of love would come into my life on November 16th. WEIRD! This was the day, a few dates after Todd and I first met that Todd asked me to be his girlfriend. I know thats so trivial for him to ask and I probably sound like I am in the 5th grade, but he did! I think that is just a sign that tells me that Todd and I are meant to be together. I know people say this all the time but I really feel totally different around him. He lifts my spirits up, makes me feel alive again!
The stars were also on point with the career paths for both of us. I found it to be quite interesting....so perhaps I'll just leave it to the stars and see what else is in store!
The stars were also on point with the career paths for both of us. I found it to be quite interesting....so perhaps I'll just leave it to the stars and see what else is in store!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
SEL has got the best of me!
Hey everyone...Reading my cousin's blog and attending a Social, Emotional Learning workshop yesterday has inspired me to start writing, something that is a reflective process, that many of our students nowadays do not take time to do due to the mass culture of text messaging, computers (aim, aol, etc etc.) I think its important to reflect and think through writing. For me, its a cathartic process, a stress reliever and it allows me to go back to what has happened in my life and learn from it and compare it to future situations or moments that I may write about.
So where am I am in life? Well, I am 26, a teacher in a Catholic School System and I absolutely love where I am at except for the money. I'm living in my own condo, driving my own car, and life for me is pretty good because my accomplishments in life have lead me to living a comfortable life. Kudos to my mother for doing such a great job with me!
I guess the one thing that has me more happy than anything nowadays is the fact that I have met a great guy who makes me laugh, is intelligent, handsome, and treats me how I ought to be treated. I've had a few health issues lately that has disturbed the continuity of my social and emotional health. My self esteem has fallen to a level which I don't care to have it at and my desire to live has been questioned more than I would like it to be. It's amazing that a person with so much in life can think such negative thoughts. I blame it on a situation from summer of 2007. I posed the question to my kids the other day; What would you rather be: Rich and unhappy or Poor and happy. Amazingly, the majority of students answered the latter answer. I'm beginning to see since Todd has come into my life, that being poor and happy is worth more than any person's measurement of weatlth in dollars! I truly am blessed to have a supportive family, the Lord, and Todd in my life! I'm excited for the blogging process...hoping this will help me in coping with stress!
So where am I am in life? Well, I am 26, a teacher in a Catholic School System and I absolutely love where I am at except for the money. I'm living in my own condo, driving my own car, and life for me is pretty good because my accomplishments in life have lead me to living a comfortable life. Kudos to my mother for doing such a great job with me!
I guess the one thing that has me more happy than anything nowadays is the fact that I have met a great guy who makes me laugh, is intelligent, handsome, and treats me how I ought to be treated. I've had a few health issues lately that has disturbed the continuity of my social and emotional health. My self esteem has fallen to a level which I don't care to have it at and my desire to live has been questioned more than I would like it to be. It's amazing that a person with so much in life can think such negative thoughts. I blame it on a situation from summer of 2007. I posed the question to my kids the other day; What would you rather be: Rich and unhappy or Poor and happy. Amazingly, the majority of students answered the latter answer. I'm beginning to see since Todd has come into my life, that being poor and happy is worth more than any person's measurement of weatlth in dollars! I truly am blessed to have a supportive family, the Lord, and Todd in my life! I'm excited for the blogging process...hoping this will help me in coping with stress!
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